Decoder Ring

I thought of a song
so I decided to play it
but I didn’t make it
all the way through
it’s still on the screen
stopped at 1:56/2:41
I couldn’t let it go on
I’m not sure if she’s singing "in my house” or “in my heart”
but I know she is saying “you’ll stay”
just that one word
pulls so much
and takes me back
in time
to when I heard this tune
almost every day
“stay”
you didn’t
you couldn’t
and you wouldn’t want me to be this way
and I’m sorry I don’t think of you enough
or that I think of you too much
I looked up the lyrics
it’s “in my heart”
it’s in my heart
I know that part now
but I won't press play
I'll let us stay
paused

Dichotomy

Today I saw scenes on the television screen
of men walking through a forest
They opened a cage
set their sights high
and shot down those they’d just set free

Today I saw scenes on the television screen
of men climbing a cliff
They reached the chosen spot
in a place so high the world below became pixelated
squares of blues and greens
They opened the cage door
the albatross opened its wings
(like a conductor about to create a concerto from silence
or when everything hangs in the balance)
it let the wind circle around each feather
took account of the weather
the world held its breath
and on the exhale
it
soared

To Write Them Down

A turn of phrase
or sayings they liked to use
and names they called special ones
it makes them live on

I heard her yesterday in my head
“don’t grizzle” she said
that’s what she used to say to me
“don’t grizzle”

He called me “Missy”
no one else ever has
I miss hearing that name
but it wouldn’t be the same if someone else starting using it

There’s one I never met
but when I’m told of his expressions it’s like I have
“Directly” he would respond, apparently,
when asked if he’d completed a task
“I’ll do it directly”

On the plaque in the remembrance garden
under the details of her life’s span
he signed it
“Until we meet again, love Squaddie”
that was her name for him
“Squaddie”

If I think of more
I’ll be sure
to write them down

Greenwich

I remember when
I saw the world laid out flat
on a map
it dawned on me
I could do that
I could go
anywhere I cared to see
all that was required was time
all the time in the world
lined up chronologically
I read it from left to right
continents and countries
oceans and vast seas
at my fingertips
and at my feet
and I promised myself the earth

For Those That Still Can Fly

I asked him
“where do all the birds end up?
the sky seems so full of formations and flocks
but I don’t see even one dead body a day
is there somewhere sacred they go to pass away?”

“No”
he replied
“I see them all the time after they’ve died
it’s usually a cat, or disease or old age”

which seemed such an unceremonious response
to the plight of the flightless amongst us
I was hoping for a more enthralling story
of wise and noble final journeys
to resting places worthy
of lives spent experiencing a borderless freedom
beyond our comprehension

At least, I guess
I can pay respect
by continuing to follow in his stride
as we go searching far and wide
our eyes searching high
scanning the sky
for those that still can fly

Even Your Eyes

You’ve been gone so long
even your eyes have picked up an accent
I used to know just what you meant
from only one look
an open book
reading between the lines
like secret messages we find
made of lemon juice on paper
for us to heat up and discover
for later
but now
somehow
over time
and distance
(or possibly linguistics)
something’s changed
your eyes don’t sound the same

A Beautiful View

A beautiful view sends her to
such a melancholy place
“life” she thinks
“is a torturous existence”
she’ll write a poem and rhyme it with “persistence”
later that night
after a fright
a small body will pull back the sheets
and climb into her bed
and their heads will touch
silence
and they’ll stare at each other
still silence
and after some time the child will return to her room
neither knowing who was the one most comforted

Stones and Sticks

Stones and sticks
can’t fix
broken bones
but bricks
and mortar
well they oughtta soothe
frayed nerves
but now this home
once my centre
has got me on edge
but if you were to walk through the door
just once more
I’d find a way so you could stay
and I would be the one who leaves
on this family tree
that’s the way it was supposed to be

Static

A change is in the air
you feel it and become aware
of the soft hairs on your arms
they’re standing on end

nothing can stay the same
can’t go back to where we came
it's a constant state of flux
change, gains and loss

time cannot stand still
you just have to wait until
you know it’s on your side
then make your move

learning to tell the difference
between static and interference
is the hardest lesson
I still have yet to learn

Still Life

The thin, tall vase stands still on the windowsill
like a sentinel
the gerbera, still full of life, is dipped into its water and made to face away from the view
its blood red petals admired as chores are performed in the kitchen
but over time, when unobserved, it slowly turns to face the sun
to gaze at the garden from whence it did come

Dawn’s Chorus

I can hear dawn’s chorus
announcing for us
that we’ve survived another night
and when we’re ready
we can open our eyes
and check to see
if we’re still in our right minds
with what’s left of our wits
but every day I think
at some point between lights-out and sunrise
I wouldn’t be surprised
to awake to discover
I’ve gone completely stark raving mad

Living In A Landscape Painting

You want to live in a landscape painting
well we’re washed out from all this waiting
this world will bleed you until you’re dry
and leave chalk outlines of where we lie
but we can find a way to put colour back in
just choose a hue and then begin

Peregian

We walked along your beach today
we didn’t have a lot to say to each other
I remember the last Christmas together
before the news broke
how I awoke one morning and went down to the sand
and began to feel a sense of unease
and wondered to myself what I would do
if I knew this was the last time I’d see these waves
perhaps it pays to give attention to these premonitions
because as it turns out, I was thinking of you

Au Revoir

If I were to write
a farewell note
If I wrote
such a thing
it would begin with
"Goodbye"

A Few Words On Seven Years

I’m going to step outside today
with a pair of secateurs
and snip at the stem some flowers for your vases
it’s Spring again and there’s so much new life to collect for decoration
it’s September again but it’s not the date that makes me recollect how much time has past
it’s walking passed a bookshop to see your favourite author has released another novel
just another you’ll never read
for some reason, amongst all the other injustices of being made to leave too soon
that sometimes seems to be the cruellest blow
it’s just these simple pleasures that I now know
you’ll never get to experience again
and I can’t read them for you
they’re not really to my taste
that’s why it seems such a heartbreaking waste
that they just sit on the bookstore shelf
because I still just don’t understand why you didn’t get to read them for yourself

The Time To Miss You

In the morning
when I wake
you’re there and framed
and so I take
the time to miss you
in that moment
it can't be saved up
and it can't be lent
and it can't be put off
and it can't be misspent
and we sure can’t take it with us
and then I wipe the dust from your face
and then I put you back in your place
and then I type to fill the space
so you won’t be gone without a trace

Let It Come To Me

This water won’t let me drown
it provides resistance as I push my way down
way down
it wants me to float
to surface
I thought its purpose
was to see me sink
but I think not today
rather than dive for the deep
I’ll strive for the steep, clean air
or maybe just let it come to me
buoyancy
slow and steady
I will rise
and surprise the sunlight
I’ve begun the climb
and the bends will end in time

Sunday Drive

We’re up high
bird’s eye view
as we look down
in the distance below
the city buildings
in a haphazard row
seem like jagged, broken teeth
in a mouth that’s felt
the punishing impact of a closed fist
or never been kissed
but you say
from so far away
they look like tombstones

Death Sentence

A death sentence
is what we need
just a few words
strung together
like so
that can tie up the loose ends
and see us part as friends
start to mend raw edges
A death sentence
that will make you see
there’s no life left in what we had
words wounded it
and they need to finish it off
so there’s no misconception
no expectation of resurrection
A death sentence
twenty five words or less
so we can lay to rest
once and for all
our sakes
this long
drawn
out
final
farewell

well,
I’ll go first

An Unguarded Heart

The heart needs protecting
never forgetting
that constant vigilance
and diligence
is required to combat threats to its fragility
an unguarded heart
poses a greater threat to life
than a thousand strikes
and blows
he who knows this
shows true strength
there is no length a heart won’t go to
so you better know how to last the distance

A Clear Way Through To Summer

It’s half way near
I’m hoping for a clear way through to summer
some relief from the fear
I’m praying for a clear way through to summer
if given half a chance
six months in an instance
might seem like a lifetime well-lived
if given a clear way through to summer
of myself, it’s not too much to ask
to have bright skies last
no overcast days
a clear way through to summer
“Make hay while the sun shines”
well, hey, sometimes
all you need is a clear way through to summer

Your Way

You had a way
a sway you would do
when I was in need of comforting
held in your arms
we would ever so slowly spin around the kitchen
until your humming
would overcome my fears
You had a way
of saying what I needed to hear
you understood me better than I do
there wasn't the opportunity
for you to teach me all you knew
and I’m having a hell of a time getting up to speed
You had a way
of showing that bravery
doesn’t require grandiose gestures
it’s waiting for a phone call
that tells you there’s no chance at all
You had a way
of making sure
I’d be okay
when each year spins round
(like we would do)
to Mother's Day

Upon Your Return

You’ll be leaving soon
again
I’ll say “have fun, be careful”
and then
we’ll hug
and I’ll save that embrace, just in case,
to my memory
and upon your return
with the greetings complete
I'll delete

Heart Contract

If I knew you would make my heart contract
I would have paid more attention
to the terms and conditions
and permissions
before accepting and agreeing
and now
the cooling-off period has begun
I can tell

Window Of Time

I will take my fill of this view
and carry it all the way back to you
and when we meet again
I will pour my heart out
so you can see every last sight you missed
droplets
of time
that have all combined
they’ll wash over us
til then
watch over us
while I look out for you