They don’t allow guests in this waiting room
“Patients Only” it says on the door
under “Nuclear Diagnostics”
I know that whoever else joins me in this place
will have their own battle waging
but I’m alone
I try to picture the outside world
with people going about their normal business
not about to be injected with radiation
and strangely I harbor no resentment
“This is my life now" I say to myself
I force myself to look around
at the equipment and monitors
and various other overwhelming paraphernalia
“This is my life now” I say to myself
“Get used to it”
and like many times before
when my nerves send my body shaking
I say to myself
“Get busy living, or get busy dying”
and as I’m lying on the hard table and I’m slid into the
tunnel
I close my eyes and say to myself
“how could this be happening?”
when it’s over he meets me in the other waiting room
where guests are allowed
“Lift or stairs?” he asks
I motion towards the stairs
and once in the stairwell
hoping no one will hear
I take his hand
and scream
