Public Transport

Our thighs touch

in a moment of unrequested contact

that could last, I estimate, approximately 42 minutes

I consider not moving my body at all

because

why should I?

I was here first

but I can’t bear to leave our legs pressing together any longer

so I wiggle closer to the window

creating much needed space

between

myself and a middle-aged man

who emits a mixture of middle-management and stale deodorant

and entitlement

specifically

to a section of my seat

that I paid $5:13 for

(which, as an aside,  seems equal parts exorbitant and weirdly antiquated in an age of decimal currency)

“excuse me” I say

as I get up

because my stop approaches

he makes no effort to move

he still encroaches

so I take great delight

in pushing past

at last

doors open

I’m out

Justice

Innocence has a price

$1,271.75 to be precise

and that’s just one of the many letters that came

demanding prompt payment

but then guilt would have taken its time

to ask for the account to be paid out in full

and had a higher cost

so it must be viewed

that a few thousand

is no great loss

in the scheme of things

and somehow I have to make sure I get value for money

it took its pound of flesh

(or a little less

just enough for a petri dish)

so I think I’ve earned

a lesson learned

carpe diem

go out and seize ‘em

easier said than done

for all the battles won

there’ll be losses mounting up

it’s for them,

the guilty ones,

I push on
it's not fair
and it's not just
that some do not
when others must
but we have no say
wishes hold no sway
over what will be

and when the bank account balance has recovered

and the bruise from the cannula has receded

and the incision high on the back of the thigh has healed

and it's all just an anecdote 

I hope I won't forget
I hope the scars remain in my memory to remind me
to never live in so much fear again

There’s a corner of my bed

that I had previously never rested my head

or sat on

but for two weeks

it was there I went to draw strength

it has the best view out the bedroom window

so I would go
and practice hearing the words

and practice answering the phone

so when the call came

I could remain calm

and be ready to follow instructions

do whatever I had to do

I could look straight out to

the world from this corner of my bed

and when they said it was innocent

I tried to let myself see

I was allowed back out there

free