Burning Need

I spoke to a Barbara Sparks
and this left me with a desire
to have a surname that was a verb
with connotations of fire

Then I conversed with a Connie Burns
and this desire turned into an obsession
It grew in strength like flames in a forest
And here’s where I make my confession

I wanted to marry Fred Sizzles
Just so I could acquire his good name
But our courtship eventually fizzled
I think he worked out my game

I fear he discovered I was cheating
Two-timing him behind his back
I was also seeing Jim Scorches
My mind was on a one-way track

I had to have an awesome surname
It was turning into a real crisis
When it didn’t work out with Wayne Singes
I changed it legally to Cauterizes